I've learned that it is not what you wear;  it is how you take it off.

I've learned that you cannot make someone love you twice.

I've learned that I cannot rent a pony, ride to a potential girlfriends house, and sing under her window.

I've learned that shit does hit the fan.

I've learned that for some people just going out the door is a form of littering.

I've learned that one good deed deservers some form of recognition.

I've learned that some people are just jackasses.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust.

I've learned that others are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that depression is depressing.  Extra sunshine doesn't really help that much.

I've learned to never put my hand out to a dog without a muzzle on.

I've learned to not sweat the petty things, and pet the sweaty things.

I've learned that boomerangs do not necessarily keep coming back.

I've learned age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

I've learned to avoid telling people my real opinion about my sanity.

I've learned that monkeys have no feelings of responsibility.

I've learned there is a difference between dressing your age and dressing inappropriately.

I've learned that religion is just another from of politics.

I've learned that aliens are no match for ghosts and the supernatural.

I've learned that 99% of the time I feel younger then my real age.

I've learned that there is a fine line between a genius and a smart ass.

I've learned that the people that you think are cool, really are cool.

I've learned that watching the news is the major cause of depression in old people.

I've learned that amphetamines, alcohol, pot, mushrooms, and candy are all addictive.

I've learned that business cards are ego boosters for insecure people.